This stress comes from the common fears about not knowing what to say or do with someone you know very little about. Fears about things going badly and rejection also play a big part.
Knowing what to do is the best way to cope with this stress. Here are a some first date pointers.
1.) It’s probably not the best idea to take her to a movie. Why is that? Because you can’t do any talking which makes it impossible to find out what sort of person she is.
It’s also done too much. Doing the usual standard stuff isn’t the recipe for a fun date.
You could try an activity based date such as hiking, skiing, wine tasting, amusement park, driving range, or a softball game. Knowing something of your date’s interests helps a lot with your choice of place or activity.
After you’ve finished your activity, eating out at a nice place is a good idea. Avoid going to a super expensive or fancy place as this makes it seem as if you’re trying very hard to impress her or buy her.
2.) This is obvious to most but surprisingly there are some who need to be reminded: personal hygiene is important for a first date. A bath or shower, deodorant, shave, brushing teeth, and mouthwash. Don’t overlook this because you’re pressed for time or are nervous.
3.) Wear clean and attractive clothes. A bad first impression will make the rest of the date an uphill struggle. Of course what you’ll be doing affects your attire.
Don’t forget to leave the old shoddy shoes at home. Women have this thing about a nice pair of shoes.
4.) Think in advance about some general conversation strategies. Too many silences equate to a boring date. Start out with some small talk about current events or something you notice in your immediate environment that’s interesting or unusual.
Once she’s relaxed, you might change the conversation to getting to know one another. Ask open ended questions and listen very carefully for any points that you have in common.
Conversation is a give and take thing. Talk to much about yourself and you’re a bore. Ask too many questions and you become an interrogator.
5.) If you’re using your car to pick up your date, make sure it’s in good condition. Don’t get stuck on a road at night in a broken down car. Also be sure that your car is cleaned out and has no lingering odors. There’s no better way to turn off your date than to make her sit in a dirty and cluttered car.
6.) Don’t overlook bringing enough money or credit on your first date. Although some women will offer to pay, it’s still customary for the man to pick up the tab. Bring enough to allow some flexibility about where you go or eat.
7.) Being relaxed is the key to making your date comfortable, having a good time, and connecting with her. Excessive nervousness makes you appear as lacking confidence which is a turn off. Don’t place any big expectations on the outcome of your date. You’re out to have fun with an interesting person.
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